Is the Universe Conspiring Asainst Me?

This morning, after running up to the doctor to get my blood drawn and then having breakfast, I had to get out and mow the lawn. I started on my usual route - street side, backyard, back, then the front - when I notice just how hard it was to push the darn thing. So I did something I never do, I let the mower stop to take a look.

Just as I suspected, the "self-propelled" part of my mower is broken. It is just one small cable that is not connected, but it needs to welded back together, a fix I am unable to make. So I continued mowing, using my own strength to push it. It is amazingly heavy when running.

As I mowed, I thought, "Is the universe conspiring against me?" My summer has not been going gangbusters. I've been sick (more about that tomorrow, after my doctor's visit) and haven't been able to get a good start on all my thousand summer projects, and what with the failure of the levy my future is uncertain, my laptop is out of commission, and now my mower is having issues. Woe is me, I thought.

Even though it is a hot day and you are supposed to let the mower cool down before you put it away, I didn't wait and just loaded the mower back in the shed. I was tired, and took a minute to rest on the back porch, standing with my arms resting on the rail. Seconds later, surprisingly, birds returned to the feeder. It was three common chipping sparrows, like this:

picture credit: http://www.roysephotos.com/ChippingSparrow.html

I stayed as still as possible to watch them. Two, it turned out, were fledglings. The mother, or father, would fly up to the feeder, take a bite, then fly down to the fledglings and feed them. After a while, the father (I can't help think of it as the father) hopped a little further away, gathering wild seeds or insects, or just letting the little ones be on their own a bit. One of the fledglings tried to fly up and land in the Rose-of-Sharon bush, but the Rose-of-Sharon is full and leafy, and has slender, unstable, twiggy limbs; and the little guy couldn't figure it out. So he flew straight at me and landed on a lower step. And still the family stayed around. After a bit, he flew back to the feeder area. The father flew to the middle of the yard and seemed to look right up at me on the porch. The little ones (not that little, really. If I hadn't seen them being fed, I wouldn't have guessed they were juveniles) flew over, one trying to land on the porch rail next to me. That was the point they all realized I was there and took off for the trees.

Somehow, this display of nature at it's finest helped me start to count my blessings. There is less yard to mow since the two houses on either side are empty and management is generous in mowing their yards. They weed-wacked around the fence as well. The nurse found a vein on the first try this morning, which is unusual with my arms. And we'll have the old levy in place this next year, giving me a whole year to get another job. I'm trying not to put myself under too much pressure on this one.

Trying to keep a positive outlook.

Dee